Saturday, September 12, 2009

Nothing Rhymes with Previa

Yesterday I had my 20-week prenatal appointment. I will say this much: I was a lot less nervous going in this time. I felt like a normal person, which is a pretty unusual feeling for me. My list of questions were less "if I accidentally eat bacon will it permanently damage my baby" than "tell me what's normal for fetal movement (which I'm now feeling)" and "talk to me about placenta previa." I had hope that she might not leave the exam room shaking her head and wondering how I managed to get pregnant in the first place.

But then she talked to me about placenta previa, and then I felt anxious again. I told her I wanted information but I didn't, if she knew what I meant. I think she really only gave me the highlights, but even those were less than uplifting. Contrary to what the nurse suggested, in cases of complete previa like mine, the odds of it moving up out of the cervix by term are pretty low. So barring my being in the lucky minority (ha!) I'm pretty much looking at a c-section at 37 weeks. Until then, I am to call her office and demand to be seen at any spot of bleeding, and if a lot of bleeding happens while I am alone, I am to call an ambulance. There is a lot I can say about this, but instead I am just going to pretend it doesn't exist.

I am trying to find ways to think of all of it in some sort of light way. I even tried to think of a little poem or song I could sing about it, but you try coming up with a word that rhymes with previa. The only thing I could think of was stevia, which is this new sweetener out there that I drank accidentally in my 8th or 9th week and then called the nurse in a panic, thinking that it would give my baby at least two heads. So that wasn't very helpful. Suggestions welcome.

Meanwhile, I have started a list of why a scheduled c-section is actually a good thing:

-No surprises. The date of your baby's arrival is on the calendar and lots of precise planning can take place. Good for control freaks like me.
-You're guaranteed to get your own doctor. Someone you've formed at least a casual relationship with is going to be all up and in your business, versus the awkward moment of meeting someone for the first time when a human being is sliding out your lady parts.
-No pooping on the table. Enough said.
-Most likely you will never experience a full-on contraction. And, really, who needs that?
-Longer recovery means more doting by nurses, your husband and loved ones who offer to help you out.
-Did I say no pooping on the table? Let me say it again.
-The baby does not come out of your vagina. So said vagina stays tidy. No more pressure to do Kegels. No worrying about implications for sex. No peeing your pants.

I'm sure there are about a thousand more reasons why a c-section is actually a good thing. And I'm sure I'll think of all of them as I spend my time not Googling about placenta previa or c-sections.


Anonymous said...

You forgot: Baby won't have a pointy head for her/his first pictures! Or bruising around his/her eyes!

As far as a rhyme goes, I was actually ON a rhyming dictionary when I read your post. Smart-ass that I am, I flipped over to find you a rhyme for previa. You were absolutely right. I couldn't find a single match. Looks like your song will have to be in free verse.

Amanda said...

Although I understand why it's never a first choice, I agree that their are some benefits to c-sections. To me, the best part seems to be that you don't really have to worry about a 'plan A' (vaginal) and 'plan B' (c-section) and let your anxiety grow into 2 giant hairy monsters that tag team you at night when you're trying to sleep.

As a c-section baby, I can tell you the downside: ball caps don't fit. For neither me or my brother, our giant round heads never got squished, and it's a miracle to find a ball cap that fits. I don't know if we are unique or if other c-section babies will agree. There are worse problems to have in life.

Michelle said...

I am sorry to hear about the placenta previa. My sister had a c-section and was really upset about but I never understood because not having contractions always sounded pretty nice to me. Anyway, I am glad that tings seem to be going well other than that and I hope they go smoothly. Keeping you in my prayers.

Mo and Will said...

So sorry to hear that the previa is not likely to resolve...but I am duly impressed that you're finding a way to reframe and look at the positives. You get major psychological health points for that : )

Sorry I've been MIA. I can't always read the pregnancy posts but when I'm having days that I can, I will come over. I am really rooting for you and sending you all of the best.


JamieD said...

I have to honestly say I wish I were having a c-section. For all the reasons you listed plus some.

I am sorry about your complete placenta previa. Even though it isn't uncommon, it still sucks to have one more thing to think about.

Have you ever heard an old song called "Eve of Destruction" by Barry McGuire? There is a line where he says, "I'm so mad my blood's coagulatin'; I'm sittin' here just contemplatin'"

I laugh every time I hear that line. There just isn't much that rhymes with "contemplain'"

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry that it's unlikely for the complete previa to resolve. Thank goodness you haven't had any bleeding though.

I laughed so hard when I read the "not pooping on the table" lines. I am terrified of that! I know it's common and natural, but ugh, I will be mortified if that happens.

Clearly the most important thing is getting a healthy baby out of this, and a c-section is the only way for you, given the complete previa. There definitely are some positives!

histmedphd said...

One more highlight: morphine on demand every 6 minutes following surgery.

C-sections are no fun but they are a testament to medical progress. And always remember: healthy mom = healthy baby.

Heather said...

Sounds like a great attitude to have. Keep thinking of all the pluses. Anything that gets you your baby with both of you being healthy is a big plus, too!

Lisafer said...

I cannot even begin to tell you how happy I was to have a c-section. I actually went into labor two days before my scheduled section (I have stress fractures in my spine so couldn't deliver w/o c section)and was in the hospital overnight. On the labor floor, I heard the worst, most primeval screams I had ever heard. The nurse asked me if they were bothering me - did I want to be moved? And I said honestly that they weren't, because I knew I wouldn't have to go through the pain! I know some women feel like somehow you don't get the "real" birth experience: trust me, it will be a fabulous, happy, life-changing experience no matter what. A baby being born by any method - especially one who is so, so, so wanted and waited for, will be beyond wonderful. Don't worry about all the hype (recovery time, breast feeding blah blah) - you and the baby will be fine.

The only downside I can think of was that I was getting a little stressed leading up to the Big Day because I knew what day it would be. Now that I've gone through it, I won't say it was easy but I will say it was WAY WAY WAY better than what I had imagined.

Anonymous said...

Egg- I think we must be due for an update! I saw you on my blog, so I know you're out there! How are things?!


kirke said...

Hey Egg -

How is everything going? I love your list of positives regarding a c-section. I'm sold. I really think it's the only way to go!!

I hope you are doing well and staying sane :)

Anonymous said...

Hey Egg,
Just checking in on you. How are things going? Give us an update when you can!

the Babychaser: said...

I'm very likely looking at a scheduled c-section, too. My OB has to look at my surgical report before he makes a final call. It kind of sucks, but the advantages you mentioned are real. I think not getting your vagina all stretched out is a plus.

Healing from a c-section likely sucks (healing from my surgery certainly did), but I've heard that healing from labor and delivery is hard, too. Like run-over-by-a-truck hard.

It's amazing anyone ever actually ends up with a baby, isn't it?