Wednesday, August 06, 2008

The Best Laid Plans

I remembered something on the drive to work this morning that made me laugh out loud.

A few years ago, when I naively thought the only people who would be in the room when I got pregnant would be my husband and I, we decided that I would go off the pill in the spring. Why? Well, it would be very inconvenient, I thought, to be hugely pregnant in the summer months. It's too hot and I didn't want a giant belly making it even hotter. This way, I would get the early stuff out of the way in the summer (because according to my plan I would definitely be knocked up in two months, maybe three at the most) and be waddling around during my favorite season, fall. I could dress up as a pregnant lady for Halloween!

Oh, you dear girl. Such a quaint little plan!

Over the course of trying and trying and treatments and more treatments, this carefully crafted, time-sensitive plan has devolved to this: I would take a pregnancy in the heat of hell.

In the cold of the arctic.

Inside, outside, upside down.

In a boat. With a goat.

I have decided to think of this minor setback in my plans as an opportunity to learn to be flexible and nimble as preparation for excellent parenting. For example, I won't miss a beat when confronted with a spontaneous projectile vomiting episode in the back of the car when I'm running late for a meeting. And I will handle nuclear-level meltdowns in Target with the greatest of ease.

Meanwhile, I have been tagged by Res Cogitatae to do this meme. I'm clueless and don't even know what a meme means but it seems fun so, since I have no vomit to clean up or meltdowns to attend to, here goes:

Rules: Answer each question with one word and tag four others to play.

1. Where is your cell phone? bag
2. Your significant other? R.
3. Your hair? blondish
4. Your mother? creative
5. Your father? kind
6. Your favorite thing? learning
7. Your dream last night? forgettable
8. Your favorite drink? wine
9. Your dream/goal? contentment
10. The room you’re in? living
11. Your hobby? reading
12. Your fear? failure
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? vacation
14. What you’re not? patient
15. Muffins? wheat
16. One of your wish list items? dog
17. Where you grew up? Massachusetts
18. The last thing you did? pedicure
19. What are you wearing? sweats
20. Favorite Gadget? blackberry
21. Your pet? cats
22. Your computer? frustrating
23. Your mood? optimistic
24. Missing someone? grandmothers
25. Your car? hybrid
26. Something you are not wearing? maternity
27. Favorite Store? many
28. Like someone? husband
29. Your favorite colour? orange
30. When is the last time you laughed? laughing
31. Last time you cried? days

In keeping with the rules, I'm tagging egg dance, Maybe I Will Have a Glass, Family of Two and Fractured Rainbows. If you feel like it (it's fun in a middle school sort of way, a la MASH).


Anonymous said...

I am guilty of that too. I went off the pill last July because we wanted to have a May 2009 baby, and we figured surely that was enough time to sort everything out?

If this month is a negative, I'm going to have to let go of that dream...and that will be a tough one.

And I keep saying to Q. that once I'm pregnant I'll be so happy to be pregnant I won't care if I'm vomiting seven times a day...he doesn't seem to believe me for some reason.

I've got no idea what meme means either- that was my first one. Awesome that you've got cats too- I love my little girls.

Anonymous said...

I am such a nervous nelly pregnant. After several miscarriages I dont know if we ever do get pregnatn again if I will be "happy" and content...I will always be waiting for the other shoe to drop...its a precarious balance isn't it?

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

Doesn't everyone think that at first? Lord knows I did!

Btw, is it really disturbing that I now want to dress as a hugely pregnant lady? LOL Forget Halloween...Christmas! Maybe it would shut the relatives up!

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