Thursday, May 07, 2009

Fielding Error

Let me get this straight. Manny Ramirez, formerly of the Boston Red Sox and currently of the LA Dodgers, is out 50 games for taking HCG? Cheating and dishonesty aside, I would like to inform any other male athletes considering getting this drug "from their doctor" as part of a doping regimen of a few reasons this may not be a good idea:

1. HCG is the hormone of pregnancy. It is what home pregnancy tests look for in your pee. It is also prescribed synthetically for the "final maturation of follicles" before an IVF egg retrieval or IUI. So unless you're the pregnant man, I am guessing it is probably not something you want coursing through your veins.
2. HCG does a lot of things. It gets you mature follicles. It doubles every 48 hours when you're pregnant. But "restoring balance" is not something that comes to mind for me when I think about HCG. Unless balance includes violent moodswings and unrelenting nausea and fatigue in your world. But I think nonstop crying is generally frowned upon in the dugout.
3. See #1. If Manny had taken a HPT during this time period, he would have gotten two pink lines. There are so many things wrong with this, I don't even know where to begin.

Seriously guys. If you're going to do this stuff – which is weak and phony and makes you no hero at all – can you please stick to real steroids? Stay off our turf.


Anonymous said...

I had not heard this yet. Oh the ridiculousness.


Amanda said...

Doping is just dumb. I guess they do it to prevent 'testicular atrophy'... if something causes testicular atrophy, then you probably shouldn't be doing it. They also use HCG to get little boys testicles to drop... Now, a little boy getting 2 pink lines is REALLY disturbing.

Speaking of 2 pink lines, I hope your transfer goes great and you get some yourself in about a week or so. That would be so AWESOME.

Michelle said...

LOL I was thinking the same thing when I heard this story.

Kacy said...

I know it's a bit late for this post, but it absolutely made me crack up. Totally crazy, I thought the same thing!! Who knew that this could be attibuted to Vagina Envy.

Infertile "hoping to be fertile" Naomi said...

Good blog!