Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Hurry up and Wait

Thirty-nine weeks today. There was a time before pregnancy when I thought I'd never be any-weeks pregnant, and certainly a time during the pregnancy when I never thought I'd see this milestone. But here I am, a week before my due date, wanting time to both hurry up and stand still.

I'm huge, uncomfortable, not sleeping and yes, whining about it (Note to my pre-pregnancy self, who is yelling from within to just shut up and be grateful I'm pregnant: I am grateful. And I can also whine about how uncomfortable I am. These thoughts are not mutually exclusive.). I feel like I've been pregnant my entire life. I don't even remember what it feels like to move freely, to sleep in any position I want or to exercise. I am, quite simply, so ready to move onto parenthood, to meet this baby who's made himself at home inside me for almost a year.

And yet. I am acutely aware of the unique magic of this time, this pre-baby period when we still have no idea what we're in for. When all we can do is imagine what our son will look like, be like, become. When his every move is still like a little secret between the two of us. I may never be pregnant again – and, at any rate, will never be pregnant again with this baby – and I want to do everything I can to hold onto it in ways that I will appreciate later.

The house is ready and I'm ready. The baby is full term, and now I can wish for him to come instead of doing everything I can to stay pregnant. Until then, I'm going to try and relish these last moments alone with this baby we fought so hard for.

19 comments:

lifefamilysanity said...

I've always imagined (having never experienced it myself) that the last week or so of pregnancy feels like Christmas Eve. Everything is ready, the presents are wrapped, and everything is pins and needles waiting for the big day (but enjoying the suspense).

Good Egg Hunting said...

That is *exactly* what it feels like. I truly hope you, too, can confirm this in about 32 weeks!

anofferingoflove said...

Oh, I vividly remember that feeling, wanting to savor the final days, but also being eager to deliver (I was SO emotional about it too)

enjoy these last days and good luck with your upcoming labor!

Queenie. . . said...

Reading this via my cellphone at 3am, typing with my one free hand while feeding for the fourth time in three hours...definitely rest up and enjoy these last few days to yourself. It is blissful chaos once the baby gets here!

birdsandsquirrels said...

39 weeks! It is such an exciting, amazing time, those last few days. Enjoy them and savor them! I hope for an easy labor and delivery for you. Are they still talking c-section?

Good Egg Hunting said...

Hi Birds - no more c-section talk, at least for now...the baby moved a couple of weeks ago so no more medical reason for it...they're talking induction around 41 weeks if I'm still here. I should have a plan after today's appointment...hope you're doing well with baby bird!

bellybuttonboutique said...

congrats to you. i remember this time period well. my boys are now 3.5 years and 21 months.

LT said...

Hi there... silent lurker here. Just wanted to wish you luck over the next few weeks! I've enjoyed following your story for some time now!

Amanda said...

I like the Christmas Eve analogy too. It's really exciting to have it so close and yet possibly still so far away. Right now I fantasize about how good it would feel to lie on my back and not look like a beached whale.

areyoukiddingme said...

Good luck - this is the hard part (emotionally, I guess. Physically, the hard part is coming up!). Some people really want to be done with pregnancy, but there is magic in being the only one who can hold your baby for the moment.

JamieD said...

I had those same feelings at 39 weeks. I felt like I had been the size of a house my whole life. And now? I sort of miss it because I don't remember it all that well.

Funny how the memory works.

Hang in there!

Jaci said...

I wish I could skip the whole last trimester. I'm at 25 weeks and starting to get uncomfortable, and I'm totally dreading months 8-9 where I'll just be propped up on pillows unable to move, sleep, or do anything.

Maybe you'll go a little bit early?

Michelle said...

I am just so excited for you. I can't believe it...you are almost there!!!

Ashley said...

You just wrote my EXACT feelings...it's like you looked into my thoughts;) I'm hoping we are holding our babies soon honey!!! GOOD LUCK!!!

Sunny said...

Congrats on 39 weeks!! How exciting. It does make me think back to being 39 weeks with my son (he came exactly at 40 weeks). It is a precious time, your life is about to change irrevocably, forever. Good luck on the final stretch!

Nikki said...

It won't be long.

Heather said...

Lots of luck!

Frenchie said...

I'm so happy for you!!

KipMatsumura said...
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