Friday, January 08, 2010

No Rest for the Weary

I am huge – let's face it. I'm 37 weeks 3 days pregnant, and I'm supposed to be huge. But I am finding my size a bit startling nonetheless. None of my clothes fit properly anymore –not even the "just in case I get that big" maternity pieces I'd bought on sale. When I lie down, I can imagine it's exactly what a beached whale feels like – heavy and helpless. It's not a good feeling, my friends.

So what happens when I try to sleep is that I turn on one side and the enormous girth of my bump puts my hip to sleep and I wake up, moaning in pain. And then I turn to the other side, and it happens there too. And so it goes, back and forth, all night, until I usually give up and stand up – pausing to let the excruciating groin pain subside before I take a step – and take a break from all that exhausting "sleeping." Last night I took my break downstairs on the couch, because it was also about 200 degrees in my bedroom, and I was all sweaty on top of everything else and about to cry. I tossed and turned more on the couch and today am a rather useless zombie.

So it's making me a little bit insane that helpful people* keep telling me to "bank" my sleep now, as if I can go up to the teller and put 200 hours in savings, please, and then walk out with one of those sugary lollipops that you can only find at banks. When I hear this it makes me so tired I want to doze right on the spot (if I could). Because clearly they think that a) I'm sleeping like a baby all day and night right now, b) I'm so naive, I have no idea what I'm in for and newsflash! Babies wake up all through the night, am I sure I know this? Because if I didn't know this, then how sad for me when I'm up in the middle of the night all tired with a crying baby and don't say they didn't warn me. And c) they obviously think that I have no idea what it's like to not sleep, that there's never been a reason for me to have a lack of sleep before. Because my life never had any meaning before this – I was just a selfish fool with nothing notable to do that might take up a lot of time. How sad. But how happy to be in for no sleep soon when I pop out this baby, so I, too, can warn other unsuspecting pregnant girls who aren't sleeping all about banking their sleep!

Maybe I'm just being sensitive – okay, I know I'm sensitive, because the other night I cried real tears when my husband said something to the cat when he was supposed to be listening to me – but I'm becoming more and more agitated when people tell me this. I would like to ask that they tell me how sleeping for a couple of hours at a time when I don't have a 7lb 6oz (ultrasound measurements this week, which I know are just an estimate) human being strapped in my middle will be any worse than what I'm doing now?

*(Please note: I promise that if you are my friend IRL and you are close enough to me to read this blog, I am not talking about you when I refer to comments I'm getting. From you I seriously want to know how it really will be, and I want to hear your thoughts because I know they come from a loving and helpful place, and you aren't just trying to scare me or demonstrate how little I know.)


Amanda said...

I'm there with you. I have 3 shirts that still fit well, but one is white so I can't really wear it without my belly panel showing, otherwise I just go out looking however cause I can't help it. But I do pretty well on the sleep cause I'm still in the recliner. If you have one, give it a try. The reclined position takes the pressure off my bladder and I only wake up once or twice a night (although when I stand and the baby crushes it I have to get to the bathroom fast). And I'm getting really annoyed with people for various comments too... but it I don't have a problem being a bitch and blowing them off... I'm SO nice like that.

Ashley said...

I feel you honey!! My hip pain at night is really bad. I'm also peeing every hour now which sucks!! Getting up at 6 to go to work is gettting harder and harder!! IT seems like I sleep the best between 5;30 and 6...of course!! It's almost over though. We are at the 10 yard line (what my dr said). I can't believe we made it this far!! I remember when I was so worried that my cervix would open early and I would lose the I"m ready for it too;)

PJ said...

I'm only 14 weeks and I'll bet a half-dozen people have already told me to "get my rest now, I'm gonna need it".

And two have already said, "something's in the water, I'm NOT drinking the water!" And I'm all, NO I can assure you it was NOT the water!!! (and the thought bubble above my head screams, dumbass!)

Why can't people be positive?

Michelle said...

I am not pregnant but I DEFINITELY know what it is like not to sleep. I suffer from TERRIBLE insomnia and I am up at all hours (and that is with sleeping meds). It drives me nuts! I hope you are able to get some sleep soon. Sending hugs and the sandman your way!

Frenchie said...

I'm so sorry you're not sleeping well. Sleep depravation is truly horrible.

RunnerWoman said...

Try not to pay attention to negative comments from people you don't know. People have this insane need to tell you their war stories and also for your post-partum time to be as difficult as theirs. I won't go all "my baby was sleeping through the night at 8 weeks" on you b/c I think that is equally obnoxious but I will say it is not necessarily the case that your post-partum time will be really difficult. I found the sleep deprivation in the final weeks of pregnancy to be so, so much more difficult to cope with than the sleep deprivation afterwards. I would get up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet and just want to lie on the bathroom floor and cry b/c I was so exhausted and I wondered how on earth I would get up multiple times in the night to feed a baby. When baby came though it was so much less tiring than pregnancy sleep deprivation. I think there must be hormonal changes that help b/c honestly it was not nearly as bad. I hope that this will be your experience too!

Cotes in Amsterdam said...

Oh egg, I hear you! I slept propped up on pillows (yes, practically sitting up all night) and that was the easiest way to score some sleep before the pain in my hips and back would set in and wake me up. I agree with Amanda on this too that a recliner, if you have one, could work well too.

JamieD said...

I don't know why people think those comments are helpful. Don't they have kids, too? Do they forget so quickly?

I think I slept better once Skeeter was here. I was already waking up 3-4 times a night but once I was doing it to feed the baby at least I could get comfortable once I did lay down.

histmedphd said...

Hey there Egg,
There's no such thing as banking sleep. There's nothing you can do now to prepare for the sleep deprivation of later (other than the irritating feeling of the sleep deprivation of now). I fully agree with JamieD. The lack of sleep once you have a baby is different than what you're going through now. The only cure for pregnancy is childbirth and that will be here very soon. And then the bliss and the exhaustion will come hand in hand. Just try to focus on the bliss at that point :)